Patience Has A Slow Learning Curve

in a previous blog, i jokingly talked about buying my 19 year old daughter patience and common sense. looking back, i didn’t possess those qualities at that age. i didn’t even know what they were. i had just separated from my first marriage because of impatience and impulsivity, among many other difficulties.

patience has a slow learning curve. i’m still working on understanding what it means and implementing it at the beginning of a situation or circumstance, yet it often comes later rather than earlier. i find myself getting frustrated or upset and it’s only after the fact that i see where my patience was absent.

common sense comes easier nowadays, possibly due to all the idiotic, impulsive behavior and decisions in the past that i’ve learned and grown from.  common sense is when we see the truth of the situation, the reality, in the moment and act or don’t react given that truth. it is making thoughtful decisions and not rash, impulsive ones.

so, having had time to contemplate, patiently, the experience of having my daughter home for the holidays, i can see how i require behavior and decision making from her that i didn’t possess until my thirties. and, since she is an Aspergers individual, the concept of common sense is learned, not inherent, so this too will improve over time. the real question is – how can i require certain behavior of someone else at an early age that i didn’t have at that same age? or, more to the point, how can i require anything from anyone when i don’t possess it myself? or, better still, how can i require anything from anyone?

About tari brand

Hi everyone! I'm so glad you're here. I hope you move closer to what your spiritual truth is in this place we call earth from reading my journal. I've been investigating for over 30 years why we're here, in this moment, and have found countless ways to help others relax and enjoy the ride. Hope you'll join me!
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3 Responses to Patience Has A Slow Learning Curve

  1. “like” x 10 🙄 Ah ha…this must be what you mentioned that you were writing?
    I just finished a draft of something I wrote 5 years ago that gets to that similar point…why in the world have I thought or am thinking that I can “require” or make things happen in the just the way I want things to be????…but I seem to do that,…not as often, but still do….it’s called…”The Way It’s Supposed to Be”, which didn’t quite happen. (actually it probably did, just not the way I wanted it )
    I’ve been thinking a lot about patience in the past few weeks….it’s an area of challenge for me…I’ve figured there are several ways to approach increasing it…….but I’m coming to the point of realizing that if I don’t have “firm preferences” and have acceptance etc…then life is easier. And yes, for me learning patience has progressed along a VERY slow learning curve! Thanks for your ideas : )

    • tari brand says:

      yes, this was the post i mentioned. not having strong opinions is a great help to allow one to be patient and nicer to be around. opinions can create divisions between people and they’re something we believe, not who we are. i learned this from eckhart tolle’s book – a new earth. they’re just thoughts we have about this or that. if we don’t hang onto them, it doesn’t diminish who we are. that was a HUGE step toward understanding relationships & patience for me. and being more patient because i wasn’t tied to some belief that isn’t fact, it’s just a belief. have a wonderful weekend! the holidays are approaching!

      • I just pulled that post together and now it’s there…thanks for the inspiration to get it there….it’s such an important “lesson” for me… it’s most difficult for me to do in my “role” as mom….ah, now that’s a hard one.
        Marie from Love is the Answer just mentioned that the Eckard Tolle classes are on the Oprah site…maybe it would be helpful for me to start watching those… : )
        And a wish for a happy weekend and holiday season for you too… : )

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