this has been an interesting week. i’ve been in a perpetual state of moving for over a month now. i’ve been packing boxes and boxes and boxes of books. art books mainly. and those are heavy. heavy and odd-sized. my back doesn’t care for that kind of manual labor. and it spoke up, loud and clear, sunday morning. “NO MORE.” and finally i listened because i had to.
monday morning i woke with quite a throb in my left eye socket. then came the light show out of the right eye. migraine with aura, the internet told me. okay, back strain, migraine, let’s take a look at this in a way other than holy shit.
i’ve been reading a book of essays about the energy, kundalini, and just finished the author who spoke of breaking negative energy patterns in the body through discomfort. could this be what this is? hers was a fascinating tale with out of body experiences and painful physical ordeals that lead her to this conclusion. it seemed to make sense. or maybe i’m just gullible. but this gave me a different perspective on pain, and with that perspective came a letting go, a release, an acceptance that allowed the pain to subside. because i wasn’t clenching or wishing it was over. that was very helpful. paying attention to my breath, taking deep breaths in, long exhales out, allowing the present moment to be and not anxious for pains demise.
it still had to work it’s way through and out which it seems to have mostly accomplished. today is thursday and that seems long enough, don’t you think? if this is a cleansing of my chakras and energy pathways, i can accept that premise. if it’s a situation that i created myself due to trying to move too many damn heavy books, i can accept that as well. hell, it’s all cool to me.