i think i’ve written about this before, but it bares repeating because i seem to be continuing this rather unnecessary habit. i have a tendency to stretch and elaborate the truth. i’ve always done this, as far back as my conscious memories take me. as the years accumulate, however, i’ve become more aware of what is conjured up in my brain and leaves my lips.
the little stretches of truth are all about ego and elevating my stature somehow to someone in some situation that doesn’t really matter. small, insignificant things. at times i hear them before i realize they’re coming from me. this takes me by surprise since i’ve done a lot of work to eliminate the game playing and portrayal of my self as better than. better than the other, when i know, deep in my core where all life begins, that we are all the same.
still, i continue to stretch and elaborate. along with this disconcerting habit i also say too much, give too much information. about everything. all the time. information that’s so completely unnecessary to share that i wonder later why. why did i think that person needed to know, or even wanted to know? so my work is a two-parter. pay attention, be present to what i’m sharing, how much i’m sharing, and what is truth vs. fiction.
my internal work has evolved and morphed over time. in the beginning it was dealing with major wounds and scars from the past, brainwashing still remaining from childhood that kept my soul prisoner. as time goes on, it narrows and defines itself – gets really specific. and now i’m left with lying and jibber jabbering. oh boy. maybe i’ve said too much already and again.