i can accept just about any kind of character trait or eccentricity or weirdness. until it’s anger or meanness or accusation directed at me, and then i react in one of two ways:
- i become immediately defensive and start denying whatever the thing is that i’m being accused of, even before i have time to think and consider what’s being said.
- i shut down, stop reacting at all because i’ve immediately been wounded and hurt by the anger or meanness. i can’t think and i can’t breathe. both of these reactions are from the ego.
i try to always come from a compassionate place, yet i push sometimes. i push to get someone to see the world the way i do, from a place of joy. from a place that the universe is here to help and guide us to live better, more contented lives. i want others to see what i see. i push from the ego, literally saying my way is best.
this is my dilemma – the need to guide others to joy. and i know i have no right to do this. and it angers some. and it causes some to believe i’m self-righteous. by doing this, even though i stated earlier that i accept nearly all, it isn’t true because if i truly accepted, i wouldn’t push them to be other than who they are and where they are.
this is my practice – remaining in compassion, in joy, in love, while leaving others to find their own path. even if that path is self-destructive. because i can’t change how another sees the universe or their life and life’s circumstances. i can only stay on my path, with my eyes wide open to continually discover where my path leads. and it doesn’t lead onto someone else’s spiritual road.