several situations have come into my life that i don’t understand. not that i find meaning in everything that comes my way, but these are out of the ordinary experiences.
last year, my husband took a fall and shattered his elbow. not broken, not fractured – shattered. twenty six screws and two plates later, i was hoping for a bionic arm. that isn’t, however, what has occurred.
this year, i evicted my first tenant. someone who felt the world owed him and i was included in that debt owed him. throughout the five month-long ordeal, i kept believing he would “come to his senses,” that he would “see the error of his ways,” or “find truth and responsibility.” well, he didn’t do any of those. and i learned something very significant – background and credit checks are essential.
my husband had a tenant who stopped paying his rent. and because my husband doesn’t like conflict, he pretended it wasn’t happening. over a year of not paying, we finally got him out to find he had destroyed the place. driven golf clubs through trees, nailed objects to ceilings and walls, removed skylights and toilets and sinks and bathtubs. it looked like the crime scene of a maniacal killer of architecture. we believe he was a meth addict from what was left behind. and i again learned something very significant – never give any tenant the benefit of the doubt and we’re not cut out to be landlords.
these past few weeks we’ve been temporarily staying in a sweet little cottage in laguna beach. our home suffered a flood. thousands of gallons of water poured out of a burst fire sprinkler line, for nearly a full hour. extensive water damage that forced us to move our belongings into a storage unit and seek shelter elsewhere with our four dogs.
we are definitely enjoying our stay in laguna beach. the air is clear and crisp, the walks up and down the hills visually wonderful, the ‘vacation atmosphere’ a quiet, restful respite from the chaos of what our home is going through now. but why? why is all of this crazy shit happening? was it something i said?
and what about the water? should i look at it as symbolic? is it a cleansing? a purifying of one’s dirt and muck? my dirt and muck? or is it a signal that material possessions are elusive, transient and we could lose it all in a heartbeat?
i’ve been discovering how to stay in the present and not look behind or ahead, and so i stay in the moment and believe that if i need to know why or if there’s a reason for all of this, it will show itself. images and understandings enter my thoughts that offer clues and bits and pieces. these are the things i think i know:
- we’re not cut out to be landlords. we’re easy going and don’t care to rock the boat. when needing to be aggressive and ‘take no prisoners,’ we puddle like peanut butter on hot asphalt.
- when it comes to asking for money due, forget it. i cannot do it. i want to believe the best in people, that they will step up and follow through and i’m often surprised at what really happens.
- i haven’t been completely honest lately. i’ve had small situations that i could have done the right thing, but i did the self-serving thing. old behavior and unacceptable, especially with all the work i’ve been doing to be ‘spiritual.’ is that what the water has come to cleanse? i think so.
- maybe the water came down to get us out of our doldrums, our ho-hum-edness and have fun as a married couple, in a new place, experiencing life together. pretty extreme situation, but it could’ve been worse. it’s a possibility.
these are what i’m working on. i’m sure more clues will come in time. for now, i’m loving the breezes that move through the yellow, white and blue cottage that will be our home during April. and the dogs are living it up in the backyard sun. we take walks nearly every day in the early evening with and without a few four legged friends. and our home is slowly being put back together, better than before. it’s all as it should be.